Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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