Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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