all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
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