3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im six kinds of drunk right now
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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