READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
pray to the hookup gods
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
