I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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