Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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