Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
