So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
