so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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