Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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