garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
