Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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