Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Randomize
