i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
