I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
