I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
