Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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