I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
