we made out on top of his cat.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
