I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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