It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
