playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
