I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
