He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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