Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
