her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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