i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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