i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
