He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize