Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
