she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
