ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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