Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
