Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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