I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
