420 ftw
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
