That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
