You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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