Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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