U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
