I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
