Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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