i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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