Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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