Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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