don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
