she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
