How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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