How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
