I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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