My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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