end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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