how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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