oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
