Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize