Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
