i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
