I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize