Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
