my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize