just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
They took my balls.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize