Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
