Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
