there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize