I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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