it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
