I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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