i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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