So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
