whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
