We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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