So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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