some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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