Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
