Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
