Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
