people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
